Someday, I will know the full extent of the plan that currently awaits me. The plan for my life, for my future, has already been created. My story has been written by the same God who created this universe, the same God who has overcome the world. I often wish that I could know what the rest of my life will look like. Where will I go? What will I do? Who will I marry? Who will my children be? These are thoughts and questions I have every single day. I have an overwhelming desire to love and be loved. My heart longs to start my own family, to raise my own children in a household that serves the Lord. There are so many days that I become discouraged. I find myself wondering if that will ever happen for me. Other days I am so confident that God will give me the desires of my heart. He gives us those desires for a reason, right? He wants me to be happy, that is why He created a plan for ME, that is perfect. So, why is it so easy for me to doubt that?
I need to be encouraged. This world has the power to pull me down so quickly that it often happens before I am even aware that I am falling. Someone who I admire very much reminded me today that "when you aren't looking to Jesus, who is the way, the truth and the light of the world.. all you can see is darkness, death and lies". This world often makes me a person that I am not proud of. If I spent more time reminding myself of the truths that have been written on my heart, I think those thoughts would eventually fade away for good. That is why I need to be encouraged. I am so blessed with people in my life who do just that. The last few months I have been overwhelmed with appreciation and thankfulness for those people in my life. I don't feel like I am worthy of the family I have been blessed with. I don't feel like I deserve the friends I have, that I could not live without. I am surrounded daily by friends and family who never stop amazing me.
Despite the things that I know to be true of the Lord, I still have days where I feel discouraged. Usually, in the moments where I feel the weakest, with perfect timing, I am given reminders that turn me around. Don't get me wrong, just because I have days that are a struggle, doesn't mean that I am not happy. I am happier now than I can remember ever being in my life. I wake up in the morning and a feeling runs throughout me that I cannot explain as anything other than peace. Peace. Peace that surpasses all understanding.
I know God has a plan for me, and every single day I see another tiny piece of it come to be. Every single day, every breath that I am blessed to take.. is a part of that plan. My life belongs to my Jesus. No matter what happens, good or bad.. it is part of a plan that is bigger than I can comprehend. Even in moments that are hard to understand, I feel peace. I feel overwhelming loved and there is nothing that can compare to that.
Father, let my heart be after you.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n6fHuzVtWkQ
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