Aug 10, 2011
Today, my mind has been racing with questions, worries, fears, and anxiety. After realizing how much time I was wasting with these feelings and thoughts, I decided to stop, be still and allow God to remind me of His promises. There were a lot of things revealed to me in that time and I decided to write them down so that I wouldn’t forget. After writing it all out, I decided to share it. Even though I don’t have answers for all the questions I was asking myself, it made me think and it caused me see my situation in a different light.
Be still and be encouraged.
“Be still, and know that I am God” Psalm 46:10.
I often stop what I am doing and ask myself… Is this what God wants for me, and is this part of his plan for me? This question usually leaves me with no answer or the comfort I am looking for. Why is that? That makes me then, also wonder if that is even a realistic question to be asking. Maybe it is just that God wants us to move, to continue taking steps and if we have him in mind in the midst of everything we do, no matter what it is, that he will use it to glorify him, if we allow him to. So, is it up to me to make the decision of what I will do next? Or do I stay still and wait? As much as I would sometimes like the answer to be to wait, I feel like I should keep moving forward. I get so overwhelmed in times like this, when I don’t know what is next for me. I complete a phase of life, and I am left with so much worry and stress to take the next step. But it is hard to take the next step when you have no idea what it is going to be. In these moments, I usually begin to wonder if God is really there, walking in front of me. Today, I realized that maybe the fact that God has not given me specific instruction of what to do next, means that he isn’t necessarily walking in front of me, making my path clear of obstacles. Maybe right now he is just standing next to me to help me when I do face troubles, or make a wrong turn. He is giving me a choice. Instead of waiting for him to move, I have to start going forward and he will be with me, every step of the way. In order for God to work, I must first make the choice to run. He knows I cannot do it on my own strength, even in the moments when I think I can. I am weak and I need more than to be set on to a path, and pushed to start moving. I need someone to walk, run, and sometimes carry me on the path of my life. I can’t even explain how thankful I am for the fact that I have a God who wants nothing more than to do just that for me.
“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.” Hebrews 12:1
I believe that God knows the desires of my heart, and I know that he wants to give them to me. In fact, I believe that He gives us those desires for a reason. God has a plan for ME; he wants me to be happy.I am on earth to serve God and bring him glory, so why is that not my main focus? Why is it that this is so often put in the back of my mind? Why do I let the things of this world cloud out the truths of God that have been written on my heart? I have my problems, struggles, doubts and countless fears… but I am promised a happy ending and that is what I will continue to hold on to as tightly as I possibly can through this storm. It says in John 16:33 “I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world." That same God who has already won, who has ALREADY overcome this world, loves ME. He loves me because he loves me because he loves me. I can mess up, I can get lost in the world that pulls me down so easily and he will still be there, every time with open arms to pick me back up.
Who am I to doubt the same God that has overcome the world?
Here I am, standing half way in what feels like two entirely different worlds. But how long can I stand this way? I have so many options. The two that are the heaviest on my heart and on my mind are two that are polar opposites from each other. How do I choose one? How can I want two things so badly when they are so different from each other? While I decide, I can stay still, or I can chose to move forward. I think that if I would just take one small step, that the answer will become undoubtedly clear. I currently stand in two completely different worlds. My heart is in missions, in helping and loving others and sharing the gospel and Gods love with them. At the same time, my head is in the world, in money, in people, and ultimately… in myself. I am at a point in my life where I have to start making decisions, ones that can alter the course of my life. Will I do what is comfortable, maybe easier and will get me somewhere faster? Or will I step out in faith, and accept an opportunity that could cause me to face the biggest challenges I have faced so far, knowing that it will lead to other amazing opportunities and experiences, one that will allow God to use me in undeniable, outrageously incredible ways? The answer seems so obvious, so why can’t I answer it through actions? Is it fear, doubt, anxiety? Or does God want me to be still before Him, to hear something He wants to tell me? I don’t know the answer.
Tonight, I am full of questions. I don’t have answers for any of them yet. I don’t know what will come next. I don’t have a plan, but I do have a choice to make. Will I allow my worries; fears and cares of the world control my actions and decisions? Or will I give everything back to God? This isn’t always an easy decision. I will have to wake up and remind myself of these things daily. Like I have said, I have questions that need answering and choices that need to be made. All I know is that as of tonight, I have made at least one choice that I am absolutely sure is right and will start me in the right direction…
Here I am God, do whatever you want with me.
Be still and be encouraged.
“Be still, and know that I am God” Psalm 46:10.
I often stop what I am doing and ask myself… Is this what God wants for me, and is this part of his plan for me? This question usually leaves me with no answer or the comfort I am looking for. Why is that? That makes me then, also wonder if that is even a realistic question to be asking. Maybe it is just that God wants us to move, to continue taking steps and if we have him in mind in the midst of everything we do, no matter what it is, that he will use it to glorify him, if we allow him to. So, is it up to me to make the decision of what I will do next? Or do I stay still and wait? As much as I would sometimes like the answer to be to wait, I feel like I should keep moving forward. I get so overwhelmed in times like this, when I don’t know what is next for me. I complete a phase of life, and I am left with so much worry and stress to take the next step. But it is hard to take the next step when you have no idea what it is going to be. In these moments, I usually begin to wonder if God is really there, walking in front of me. Today, I realized that maybe the fact that God has not given me specific instruction of what to do next, means that he isn’t necessarily walking in front of me, making my path clear of obstacles. Maybe right now he is just standing next to me to help me when I do face troubles, or make a wrong turn. He is giving me a choice. Instead of waiting for him to move, I have to start going forward and he will be with me, every step of the way. In order for God to work, I must first make the choice to run. He knows I cannot do it on my own strength, even in the moments when I think I can. I am weak and I need more than to be set on to a path, and pushed to start moving. I need someone to walk, run, and sometimes carry me on the path of my life. I can’t even explain how thankful I am for the fact that I have a God who wants nothing more than to do just that for me.
“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.” Hebrews 12:1
I believe that God knows the desires of my heart, and I know that he wants to give them to me. In fact, I believe that He gives us those desires for a reason. God has a plan for ME; he wants me to be happy.I am on earth to serve God and bring him glory, so why is that not my main focus? Why is it that this is so often put in the back of my mind? Why do I let the things of this world cloud out the truths of God that have been written on my heart? I have my problems, struggles, doubts and countless fears… but I am promised a happy ending and that is what I will continue to hold on to as tightly as I possibly can through this storm. It says in John 16:33 “I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world." That same God who has already won, who has ALREADY overcome this world, loves ME. He loves me because he loves me because he loves me. I can mess up, I can get lost in the world that pulls me down so easily and he will still be there, every time with open arms to pick me back up.
Who am I to doubt the same God that has overcome the world?
Here I am, standing half way in what feels like two entirely different worlds. But how long can I stand this way? I have so many options. The two that are the heaviest on my heart and on my mind are two that are polar opposites from each other. How do I choose one? How can I want two things so badly when they are so different from each other? While I decide, I can stay still, or I can chose to move forward. I think that if I would just take one small step, that the answer will become undoubtedly clear. I currently stand in two completely different worlds. My heart is in missions, in helping and loving others and sharing the gospel and Gods love with them. At the same time, my head is in the world, in money, in people, and ultimately… in myself. I am at a point in my life where I have to start making decisions, ones that can alter the course of my life. Will I do what is comfortable, maybe easier and will get me somewhere faster? Or will I step out in faith, and accept an opportunity that could cause me to face the biggest challenges I have faced so far, knowing that it will lead to other amazing opportunities and experiences, one that will allow God to use me in undeniable, outrageously incredible ways? The answer seems so obvious, so why can’t I answer it through actions? Is it fear, doubt, anxiety? Or does God want me to be still before Him, to hear something He wants to tell me? I don’t know the answer.
Tonight, I am full of questions. I don’t have answers for any of them yet. I don’t know what will come next. I don’t have a plan, but I do have a choice to make. Will I allow my worries; fears and cares of the world control my actions and decisions? Or will I give everything back to God? This isn’t always an easy decision. I will have to wake up and remind myself of these things daily. Like I have said, I have questions that need answering and choices that need to be made. All I know is that as of tonight, I have made at least one choice that I am absolutely sure is right and will start me in the right direction…
Here I am God, do whatever you want with me.
