I hold the key.

I am worthless. I am unlovable. I am broken. I am stupid. I am ugly. People feel sorry for me and that's the only reason I have any friends. I am not good enough. I am undeserving of love and affection. I am constantly a burden and nobody wants to be around me. I have not accomplished anything good in my life. 

These are things that the devil and the world tells me that I am. I hear them everyday. 

John 10:10 says that "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full".

My Jesus has something different to say about me..
I am made in his image. Genesis 1:27

Jesus says that I am cherished. I am beautiful. I am strong. I am able. I am valued. I have potential.  I am outrageously loved. I am wanted. I am complete. I am smart. I am worthy. And there is a perfect plan for my life that Jesus himself wrote for me. 

I have been freed from the bondage these lies have had over my life before, but that bondage slowly creeps back every once in awhile. The chains that have been broken in my life sometimes start to bind me again and I do not notice it until they are so tightly secured to me that I become numb. I allow it to happen. I throw Satan the key to my chains and by not standing up for myself I give him permission to hold me back. When we become Christians, God gives us the right to use his name against Satan. How cool is that? When we are being spiritually attacked, all we have to do is speak out the name of Jesus and the devil flees. "Even the demons believe this, and they tremble in terror" it says in James. The battle over my life has already been won. I have given my life to Jesus. I have to remind myself daily that by the grace of God, I get to walk in that freedom. 

I am often spiritually attacked when I am about to be used for the kingdom of God. The devil knows exactly what lies to spit at me to cause me to doubt myself, to make me cower. Satan wants nothing more than to destroy me and hold me back from accomplishing the things the Lord has set before me. I have to stop allowing it. 
Thank you Jesus for coming to earth, so that I might have life.
I am a child of God. My chains are gone, I've been set free. 

Today is a piece of my someday.

Someday, I will know the full extent of the plan that currently awaits me. The plan for my life, for my future, has already been created. My story has been written by the same God who created this universe, the same God who has overcome the world. I often wish that I could know what the rest of my life will look like. Where will I go? What will I do? Who will I marry? Who will my children be? These are thoughts and questions I have every single day. I have an overwhelming desire to love and be loved. My heart longs to start my own family, to raise my own children in a household that serves the Lord. There are so many days that I become discouraged. I find myself wondering if that will ever happen for me. Other days I am so confident that God will give me the desires of my heart. He gives us those desires for a reason, right? He wants me to be happy, that is why He created a plan for ME, that is perfect. So, why is it so easy for me to doubt that?

I need to be encouraged. This world has the power to pull me down so quickly that it often happens before I am even aware that I am falling. Someone who I admire very much reminded me today that "when you aren't looking to Jesus, who is the way, the truth and the light of the world.. all you can see is darkness, death and lies". This world often makes me a person that I am not proud of. If I spent more time reminding myself of the truths that have been written on my heart, I think those thoughts would eventually fade away for good. That is why I need to be encouraged. I am so blessed with people in my life who do just that. The last few months I have been overwhelmed with appreciation and thankfulness for those people in my life. I don't feel like I am worthy of the family I have been blessed with.  I don't feel like I deserve the friends I have, that I could not live without. I am surrounded daily by friends and family who never stop amazing me.

Despite the things that I know to be true of the Lord, I still have days where I feel discouraged. Usually, in the moments where I feel the weakest, with perfect timing, I am given reminders that turn me around. Don't get me wrong, just because I have days that are a struggle, doesn't mean that I am not happy. I am happier now than I can remember ever being in my life.  I wake up in the morning and a feeling runs throughout me that I cannot explain as anything other than peace. Peace. Peace that surpasses all understanding.

I know God has a plan for me, and every single day I see another tiny piece of it come to be. Every single day, every breath that I am blessed to take.. is a part of that plan. My life belongs to my Jesus. No matter what happens, good or bad.. it is part of a plan that is bigger than I can comprehend. Even in moments that are hard to understand, I feel peace. I feel overwhelming loved and there is nothing that can compare to that.

Father, let my heart be after you.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n6fHuzVtWkQ